My Love's Rights
by Believe4Ever
Summary: "It's basic human rights. It's basic SPECIES rights! We can't just sit back and let this happen!" Jim argued, anger at the new government boiling. Spock looked at him and answered calmly, "I do not enjoy this anymore than you. But what do you suggest we do?" Jim gave him a hard stare. "I say we fight." *Spirk-fic. Longish. AU. Has tragic aspects. Post-STID. No references to movie*
1. Chapter 1

**This chapter is mostly knowledge that you need to know to understand the rest of the story. The prologue, if you will. This is all AU, it never happened in the movies. The species mentioned is of my own creation. Please read, enjoy, and comment letting me know what you think.**

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Captain James T. Kirk and his first officer Mr. Spock had started dating during the first year of the Enterprise expedition, following the Kahn incident. It was definitely unexpected.

When Spock had first broken it off with Uhura she had been utterly furious and demanded a reason, so he admitted to what was going on between him and Jim, since Vulcan cannot lie. She had been horrified to find out that the man who she thought had loved her as much as she had loved him turned out to actually like the other gender entirely. He had assured her that he thought he had loved her. She hated him for it at first but after seeing him and Jim together she found that she approved of their relationship fully.

After a while Bones started to notice little signs of affection between the green-blooded hobgoblin and his captain. He quickly confronted Jim about it who had explained what was going on between the two of them. Shocked would be a dramatic understatement of Bones' reaction. Jim had made him swear to keep it under wraps, however. Two people had already found out about their relationship in less than a week.

As time went on more people found out. Scotty had found them in Engineering, flirting quietly. Sulu spotted them sneak in a kiss in the hall. Chekov figured it out when he caught them exchanged notes discreetly. Soon word of their relationship had circulated throughout the whole ship.

When they were finally confronted about it by those who they did not tell directly, they were extremely embarrassed. Jim tried not to look at them and bit his lip sheepishly. Spock had remained emotionless but the tips of his ears had turned a pale green. They were relieved to find out that no one objected to their relationship.

Since everyone had found out about them, they were able to express their affection more openly. They'd stay by one another's side more and more, hold hands, and occasionally exchange short kisses. It had been simple and enjoyable; there were fewer arguments around the ship and their missions had gone on successful. Until it happened:

Galaxy War One.

Never before had a whole galaxy had a war. But in only the second year of the Enterprise expedition, it had. Ships were called back to earth to regroup. Different planets in the galaxy grouped together to fight the other side. Soon the crew of the Enterprise learned what species had started this whole affair.

The Calgineans.

The Calgineans were humanoid: abnormally large with six feet being short and nine feet being the ceiling height, beefy hands, a third eye placed above the bridge of their noses on their cranium, and incredibly intellectual minds. The average Calginean had an I.Q. of 250 and thought of themselves as the superior race to every other species in the universe. They had certain principles among themselves because of this: be keen on creating the next generation, those with defective traits or intelligence would not be permitted to continue in the world, and no genetic makeup may intertwine with that of another species.

Which translated into no homosexual relationships, those with mental or physical disabilities—or even those that would be considered stupid—were to be exterminated, and no inter-species romances.

Everything of which is constituted by the human race.

So the humans went to war with the Calgineans. The humans allied with many other species that had similar beliefs, but the Calgineans had a massive amount of people on their side. Their race alone made up a third of their massive army and they had hundreds of other species who agreed with their principles to make up the rest.

During the war the Enterprise crew was drafted and got separated. Spock had been sent with Uhura and Sulu to another sector of the galaxy to fight—well, Spock was used for strategy while the other two were sent into battle. Chekov and Scotty were sent to help build machinery and design new weapons. Jim had stayed with Bones. Usually Bones stayed off the battlefield to heal the wounded and with such little doctors in their quadrant, Jim was often allowed to stay and help. Although occasionally they would have to go out and fight, shooting off guns and Supernova Grenades that had been recently designed.

When he wasn't battling, Jim tried to send mail to Spock and the others. The military didn't like the soldiers sending calls since it could easily be intercepted and the computer could be hacked to find out all their information. Spock answered the letters, but not nearly as much as the others. He often wrote about how busy he was, but how much he appreciated Jim writing to him.

The war had raged on for three years.

It was finally drawn to a close when the Calgineans' front line stormed Star-Fleet headquarters on earth. They had already taken over three of the seven continents and had worked their way through the United States to infiltrate the headquarters. Star-Fleet was forced to surrender and less than a week later the rest of the species fighting the war had done the same.

The galaxy was under the Calgineans' control.

Laws were made almost immediately, following their principles. No homosexual relationships. No inter-species relationships. The elderly, the dumb, and the handicapped would be either locked away or terminated. Many people went into hiding to no avail—they were found and exterminated.

Jim and the rest of the crew had moved back to earth and regrouped in Star-Fleet. Uhura had earned a long burn mark on her calf from going in to rescue a couple of her subordinates from a burning building they were securing during a bomb-raid. Sulu had lost his left leg and got prosthetics. He had almost been killed by the new government until he proved he was still competent. Scotty and Chekov were unscathed but depressed with the new government. Bones always looked tired and would wake up every night from nightmares of those he couldn't save on the battlefield.

Spock looked the same as he always did: emotionless, professional, and all too Vulcan.

Jim was never so relieved to see Spock in his life.

It wasn't that he missed Spock, though he did, very much. It was because Jim was frightened Spock had been killed by the government. Since inter-species relationships were forbidden, many of those types of romances ended and those who were married were either forced to get a divorce or be eliminated. But there were also the cross-breed children.

The government had long debated of what should happen to these children. The Calgineans called them weptor children, 'weptor' being one of the highest insults in their ancient language. Their biggest issue was whether or not to eliminate the weptor children. It was true that letting them live was technically against their principles, but many of them were competent to continue in life. Eventually they decided they could live but could not participate in romances, since if they did it would be an inter-breed relationship, considering the other part of their species would contradict the species of their lover. Even with these parameters, many of the weptor children were killed unless they showed extremely high intellectual levels.

Jim told himself he was worried over nothing. Spock was one of the smartest people he knew. Of course he would survive their tests.

When Jim and Spock were finally reunited, the captain wanted nothing more than to give the pointy-eared man a big hug and a kiss. But he knew if he did he would be killed by the Calginean police that patrolled _everywhere. _

"I can't believe our side lost," Uhura murmured when they had all settled in the lobby of the Star-Fleet headquarters. Repairs from battles were still being done and a big corner of the room was just a hold in the wall.

Bones sighed in defeat. "One has to lose."

"But the good guys are always supposed to win."

"They did," Spock said, staring at his shoes, ever unemotional. "To the Calgineans, they are the 'good guys'."

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**The next chapter will take place about a month after the war ended, when most repairs are completed and Star-Fleet is now starting back up again (under Calginean control). I really would like to know what you guys think of the story so far, since this is just the prologue with explanation of what happened. Thank you for reading and—if you will—reviewing!**


	2. Chapter 2

_"Star-Fleet crew, _U.S.S. Enterprise _to report to Council Room for briefing."_

The male Calginean's voice crackled over the speaker. Jim opened his eyes for the third time that morning. He supposed it was about time he got moving.

He had woken up at exactly midnight that night. He had looked at his clock for the time. It was as if something brought him out of his sleep, but his room was silent as the night. The soundproof walls made sure of it.

The second time he had woken up around three-forty-five with tears in his eyes. It was probably from a dream. He couldn't remember what the dream was, though. However it must've been awful because he found he couldn't even stay in bed. His heart was racing and tears kept pouring from his eyes. He had to get up and walk around his room for ten minutes before he calmed down enough to even sit down. It was another ten minutes before he could curl back under his sheets. It was half an hour before he could drift into an uncomfortable slumber.

Then the announcement woke him up at precisely six-thirty. The captain sat up. He knew that he should've gotten up at six to be able to get dressed properly, eat breakfast, and do all his morning hygiene, but after his rough night he was glad he slept in instead.

It took him ten minutes to finish getting ready—including getting dressed in a simplistic black uniform provided by the Calgineans, brush his teeth, and make sure he didn't have bed head—and another two in order to get to the Council Room. He was the very last person to get inside.

Not good.

There were always two soldiers guarding the door. When he walked in, it was as if the guards knew that there was no one else because the one on the left smacked him from behind with his gun, sending Kirk to the floor. The one on the right dug his foot into his back.

"You're late," they said in angry unison.

"Yeah, I know," Jim mumbled, followed up with a moan as the one guard pressed all the weight of his massive body into Jim's lower back.

They finally permitted him to stand and join the rounded room packed with all the people assigned to the Enterprise.

"Now we may start," the new head of Star-Fleet remarked in an annoyed tone at the front. He was a fairly short Calginean at six and a half feet tall. "We have been informed that the Enterprise's mission before the war was to investigate new life and different corners of the galaxy. You are no longer required to do that."

Different members of the ship's crew exchanged uneasy glances.

"Your new mission," the Calginean continued, "is to collect samples."

There was a confused air that aroused in the silence.

"What do you mean 'samples'?" Jim spat. One of the guards started to move forward. After all, it was a point to not talk back to those in charge. However the three-eyed man held up a hand, letting the guards know to stop.

"Excellent question, Captain. You will be collecting plant samples, food samples . . . and alien samples."

His eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by _that?_"

"You will be taking one or two of the species' populates back with you and bringing them back to the Calginean's home planet."

"You mean we're taking prisoners?"

The crew's eyes widened and they looked around with alarm.

"No, don't think of it like that," the short giant chuckled. "It's collecting samples. Now you must all hurry; your ship departs at seven. A few Calgineans will be joining your crew to be sure you won't be off task at any point in the journey. You're dismissed."

Jim turned and left the room, giving the guards glares as he did. He couldn't believe they were taking prisoners. What were their new rulers planning to do to these poor souls?

()()()

The Enterprise had taken quite a beating during the war. A large portion of its plating had been stripped off and the shell had taken so many shots it couldn't even sustain oxygen levels correctly in space. However the new government had had the ship restored to top condition, since they knew it was one of the best ships of its era. Going inside, it looked exactly as it had before this whole war had occurred.

But it didn't feel the same.

There was a solemn air, a sad feel all around. The whole crew was depressed. And why shouldn't they be? Their whole galaxy had been overrun with intellectual aliens with a superiority complex. Now they were being forced to take certain people from a number of species into custody just so their government could do who-knows-what to them.

Jim hadn't immediately gone to the Bridge. Instead he had gone to the Captain's Quarters. He had found that everything was just how he had left it, just cleaned up more. The floors weren't covered in dirty clothes he never bothered to pick up and the drawers weren't stuffed with snacks. But he didn't care anymore. He just looked around, unable to believe he was really back on the ship. It had felt like a lifetime away.

_You'd better get moving, _he told himself. Reluctantly, he turned and headed to the Bridge. He walked in to find everyone he recognized in their usual place, going through checks to make sure the ship was up to the correct regulations and wouldn't crash in mid-space.

That's when he noticed the first Calginean.

This particular one was taller than some of the ones Jim had seen. He was somewhat taller than eight feet tall and had to hunch over a little to keep from hitting the ceiling of the room. His face had a constant mean look like someone was constantly punching him in the face.

_Punching him in the face. That'd be fun to do._

Even so, Jim Kirk ignored the urge and walked over to Spock's area. He bent over to peer at his first officer's screen, but purposefully put his face close to Spock's. "Is everything in order?"

"It would appear so, Captain." Then the Vulcan added in a quiet voice, "You shouldn't be doing this, Captain."

"Doing what?" Jim answered in an equally low tone.

"You are still being flirtatious by being in such close proximity. It is not recommended you do so for fear that the guards on board may notice."

"What are they going to do? I'm the captain."

Just as he was finishing speaking, Kirk found that he was being pulled up away from Spock and shoved down the ground. Jim gave a groan as his butt hit the solid floor. He looked up to see the Calginean standing over him.

"What's your problem?" the captain growled.

"I was warned of you," the three-eyed alien hissed. "They said that you and Mr. Spock had a romantic relationship before and during the war. I am satisfied to find that it is now over, and that you are following the laws, but you are pushing limits."

"How exactly am I, Mister . . .?"

"You may call me Kelfski. And you are far closer than necessary to inspect Mr. Spock's screen. It is implied that you are still being flirtatious with your first officer."

Jim pulled himself to his feet. "What is your guys' problem with any of this?"

"It is disgusting."

"Oh?"

"Yes. It has been debated for many, many years about whether or not homosexual relationships are even able to continue at all. Especially among your people. It is not even completely accepted yet, is it?" Jim's teeth ground together. He was right. That was a big reason why he and Spock had been wary to let the ship know of their romantic involvement; they were afraid some of them would disapprove. "Not only that, but even if you were able to bear children with someone like him, the mixing of your genes would not be suitable for offspring. The statistics of a weptor child being able to respond with great athletic or, more importantly, intellectual ability is very small."

Kirk's hand curled into a fist at Kelfski's implying that Spock was a weptor child—which he was, but it still angered the captain for his love to be called such a thing. "Spock is one of the smartest people I know. And . . ." He smirked, hoping to anger the Calginean. "Have you _seen _him run?" Jim whistled.

Spock had been watching this conversation proceed and now his cheeks glowed a pale green. Kelfski noticed the change in hues and his anger flared. "You are being flirtatious, Captain. I don't want to have to subdue you."

"Flirtatious? How am I being flirtatious, Commander? Am I flirting with _you? _Because I'm talking to you. But I don't think I'm being flirty." Jim gave him a hard stare.

The Calginean glared and finally turned away, walking out of the Bridge. Jim stood there, watching him exit, leaving the Bridge made up of only the crew he had grown to love.

"That was fantastic, Captain," Uhura finally murmured, giving a slight smile and a quiet clap. The others joined in until there was a low round of applause that died out quickly.

"Very good!" Chekov agreed with a grin.

Bones rolled his eyes. "I thought he was going to have your head. You know I'm not good at head reattachment, Jim."

The captain laughed as he looked back at the doctor. "I know you'd try." His smile dropped when he finally got a good look at his friend.

McCoy had a tired look across his face. His eyes didn't have that sarcastic shine that they usually did; in fact, if anything, they looked depressed. That wasn't surprising since everyone else seems to be sad nowadays. But there were bags under his eyes like he hadn't had a good night's sleep for weeks. His shoulders sagged. His uniform was wrinkled like he'd slept in it. Even his speech, now that Jim paid attention, seemed a little slurred.

"Are you feeling okay, Bones?"

"I'm fine, Jim. I'm the doctor here. If I wasn't up to it I'd have myself strapped in the Medical Bay."

"Have you not been sleeping well?"

The doctor glanced at him. "I could ask you the same thing. Your eyes are bloodshot."

Jim blinked and rubbed his eyes. "They are? I must not have noticed . . ."

"You cry in the night?"

The question caught the captain off guard and he peered at his friend. He replied in a soft voice, "Yeah. How did you . . .?"

"It's nightmares, Jim. They start out small enough where you don't remember them. Or, maybe you do. Either way you wake up with tears in your eyes and that look doesn't disappear until you've slept well." The doctor sighed and looked away. "That won't happen for a while, Jim."

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**Reviews are much appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Please read, enjoy, and review.**

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The U.S.S. Enterprise had been traveling for a week now. They were finally approaching the first planet in which they were to 'take samples'. The entire crew had grown silent and would barely talk to each other, save for sharing vital information. The Calgineans that roamed the ship would continue to kick people into shape, making sure that they would continue to follow the mile-long list of laws that had been put into action.

Jim stared out of the windshield with a steely glare as he saw the planet they would be investigating. He had been looking through the planet's file so many times over the past week that he could recite it by heart. Basically the planet was filled with thick vegetation so dense that the inhabitants would live in cocoons created from the plants. The species, entitled _Miagara_ were peaceful herbivores that couldn't hurt a fly. Literally. They would build houses for insects as humans would for birds on earth because they valued life that much.

_What do these stupid three-eyed brutes have planned for such a peaceful species? _Jim thought bitterly as his hand gripped the armrests of his captain's chair. _What kind of _torture _are they going to put them through?_

"Captain," Spock murmured as he approached his superior's side. Jim looked up, a slight smile creeping onto his face.

"Yes, Commander?"

"We are prepared to take the shuttle to the planet now."

"Yes, yes . . . Good." He stood, taking a deep breath. "Let's go."

The two walked down the halls of the Enterprise, which were almost completely empty save for the occasional quick paced lieutenant hurrying to deliver a document to someone in another area of the ship. The Calgineans made sure that no one loitered around the halls and would punish those that were, which made everyone worried about being wrongly punished because they were just being slow getting to their destination.

"This ship has gotten awfully dreary lately," Jim muttered as they walked down a deserted hall.

Spock nodded. "The crew has indeed suffered a great amount of morale depletion."

The captain glanced around, noting the emptiness, and slowly eased his hand into Spock's. The Vulcan glanced at his superior and withdrew his hand discreetly. "That is not the best of ideas, Captain."

"What do you mean? There's no one here."

"They could very well be monitoring the ship. It would be best if we did not risk showing such behavior when they may be watching."

"You're over-thinking it."

"I am simply being cautious, Captain."

Jim grabbed Spock's shoulder and pushed him against the wall as well as turning him so they were facing each other. He whispered in a low voice, "Spock, I'm dying."

The Vulcan's eyes suddenly took on an alarmed sheet. "You are?"

"I'm dying to hold your hand, to give you a kiss, to show that I _love you._"

Spock let out a sigh, from both relief and annoyance. He got out of his superior's grip and took a step back. "Captain, we are on business. We can discuss this at another time."

Jim's face fell into a pout. "But—" He stopped when the Vulcan gave him a stern look. So instead he turned away. "Fine. Let's go."

()()()

"Approaching the planet. We should be there in five minutes," Sulu announced as he steered the shuttle toward a tiny bare spot on the planet's surface. He, along with Spock, Jim, and a Calginean named Veschka, were all crammed into the shuttle's tiny space. Usually it wouldn't be so uncomfortable but Veschka was large like all Calgineans and took up most of the space for herself.

Jim wished that the Calginean wasn't there. Not just because he was cramped, not just because she smelled like sour milk—they _all _did and it was nauseating—and not just because he hated Calgineans to the core. He just wanted a chance to give Spock a kiss—the human way with the lips or the Vulcan way with the hands—and tell the officer that he loved him—something he hadn't been able to do since the end of the war. But he couldn't do that with this blasted Calginean in the same room!

Sulu maneuvered the shuttle to land as softly as he could manage. Which wasn't that soft. Even so, nobody broke any bones. Jim did manage to clang his head against the Low Clearance bar, but not enough to hurt him dramatically. Finally the four of them clambered out.

"I will start collecting the vegetation samples," Spock announced, getting out the vials to hold the leaves from the plants. He headed off, not completely out of view, but a little obscured by some vines.

Sulu took out his own sample storage equipment. "I'll find a water source. I'll keep a signal." He disappeared from view completely.

"I will get specimens," Veschka said in her gruff voice. She gave Jim a glare. "I will be listening. Don't do anything _with _Mr. Spock."

It was one of the hardest things Kirk had ever done to hold his tongue while the Calginean lumbered off in the direction of the nearest populated area. He took out his sample equipment and went to join Spock collecting samples.

The Vulcan glanced over. He was opening his mouth to speak when Jim shook his head, pointing to the earpiece. His message was obvious: _She's listening._

Spock nodded and went back to his work, picking off different leaves. Jim did the same, but his left hand casually tapped the trunk of a tree. It wasn't loud enough to be picked up on the earpiece, but Spock watched and understood immediately that Jim was tapping out in Morse code.

The Vulcan slowly decoded the message, watching his superior's finger taps.

_Why . . . did . . . that . . . Calginean . . . have . . . to . . . come . . . with . . . us._

Spock answered back with Morse, though his went by much faster than Jim could tap out, so it took a minute for the captain to analyze what it was that his friend had communicated.

_It is regulation. A Calginean must accompany every mission._

_But . . . I . . . wanted . . . us . . . to . . . be . . . alone . . . together._

_It appears that that is not to happen. Whatever did you want to be with me alone for?_

Jim's face fell as he translated the Vulcan's message.

_I . . . wanted . . . to . . . tell . . . you . . . how . . . much . . . I . . . love . . . you._

A twinge of emotion flashed across Spock's features of which Jim immediately identified as pleasure. It made the captain grin.

_I love you too._

Jim's heart fluttered and he wished so very much that Spock would say that to him out loud. He needed it so much. But he couldn't risk the Calginean hearing their conversation. Before he could tap out a reply, there was a loud screech coming from where Veschka just was.

"I'll check it out," Jim said immediately, putting down his equipment. "You keep collecting samples."

He sprinted off in the direction. _Maybe if we're lucky, the Miagara killed her._

_"Sir what was that?" _Sulu's voice crackled through the communicator.

Jim answered, "Veschka ran into some trouble. I'm investigating. Just get the water sample."

Sulu gave him confirmation and the captain emerged into the village. For a split second he took in what was around him. The housing were vines and tree branches tied together to create a spherical shape where they would sleep. Little to no sun was shown through the thick branches, but Jim had already gotten used to the lack of light and could see clearly.

That's when he saw Veschka dragging one of the Miagara away.

The Miagara look like giant insects. They pale creatures crawl around on six spindly legs and have long thin bodies like butterflies have. Their heads are human-like but with long thin noses that gave of a triangular façade. They normally communicate with clicks, but they are capable of screaming.

The Calginean was dragging a female Miagara back away from a crowd of Miagaras. A male was holding back a child, who was clicking frantically and trying to go after the female. The one being taken was screaming and fighting against Veschka, reaching out toward the child.

_Must be the mother, _Jim thought absently as he watched, unable to move. The female looked back and saw Jim. She probably noticed his uniform as one of military, though the Miagara race didn't know much, if any, about Star-Fleet. She cried out, tone begging and tears falling down her cheeks. He looked away, down at his feet. The female's cries suddenly turned to anger, to hatred.

Veschka manages to drag the female through the forest and out of sight. Jim slowly followed, not even daring to look at the rest of the Miagaras. He couldn't deal with the betrayal that was probably showing on their face, or the pain that the child must be feeling. Instead he followed the Calginean, cringing when she finally knocked the female out with a hard punch to the head.

"That was unnecessary," Jim mumbled, shuffling along. "We have sedatives."

"She was being uncooperative."

The captain had to force himself not to back-talk. Not to complain. Not to attack the Calginean.

By the time the two of them made their way back to the ship, Sulu had returned with the water sample and Spock had finished collecting the plant samples.

"Let's get back to the Enterprise," Jim stated depressively. He refused to look either of his subordinates in the face. He didn't think he could control himself. Feelings of regret crept into his throat. Could he have just taken out Veschka? Made up an excuse to the other Calgineans? He could've said the Miagaras had just overpowered her and they had to leave immediately . . .

_No, _he chided as he settled uncomfortably in his seat in the shuttle, drawing his knees up to his chin to make room for the passed out Miagara. _They wouldn't have believed that. They'd have your head._

Still, it hurt him deep inside that he couldn't have done anything to help the poor creature whose body was now sprawled out on the floor.

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**Reviews are very much appreciated! I haven't gotten any opinions on the Calgineans, which I am interested in hearing about, from the readers' perspective.**


	4. Chapter 4

"No."

McCoy's statement was blunt and to the point, but made zero sense in the Calginean scientists' ears.

"What do you mean 'no'?" one of the elder ones hissed. "We are your superiors and you will listen to us."

"Actually I'm the _Chief Medical Officer_," Bones spat, crossing his arms. "My only superior is the captain and no one has more authority than he does. Which means that you are my subordinates and I don't have to listen to any orders given by you!"

"We simply want your assistance in studying the Miagara specimen."

"You're asking me to conduct experiments on the thing! Isn't it bad enough you ripped it away from its home environment and family? But now you have to conduct _experiments _on it?!"

"It is nothing too . . . violent."

"I don't care! I'm not taking any part in it!"

The other scientist's eyes darkened. "Doctor McCoy. You are going against Regulation."

"No I'm not. I'm following Star-Fleet's regulations to a tee. I _don't _listen to anything some radio-active hyper grown triclops has ordered me to do!"

The first scientist glanced at the second. "It would seem Doctor McCoy is uncooperative."

"Indeed," agreed the second, glaring at Bones.

"Doctor McCoy, you have been having nightmares lately, haven't you?"

The question threw Bones off. "Wait, how did you—?"

"So he has. It would seem Doctor McCoy is going to be able to partake in our studies."

"Wait what the hell are you—"

"Sedative."

The second scientist stepped forward, withdrawing a syringe from his coat pocket. Bones dropped his clipboard and backed away, nearly tripping over a table of medicines. The Calginean plunged the needle into his arm, pressing down and sending the clear liquid into the doctor's body. Within seconds he was passed out on the floor.

()()()

_"Bones."_

_He didn't listen. He kept applying pressure, kept feeling for a nonexistent pulse._

_"Bones, please."_

_This couldn't happen on his watch. He pumped on the man's chest. He'll do anything. Anything; just let it—_

_"Bones!"_

_The doctor looked up to see Jim standing over him, breathing heavily. There was blood smeared on his face and his arm was hanging limply. Probably broken._

_"You can't save him, Bones," Jim murmured. McCoy looked back at the comrade that laid under him, eyes staring distantly up at nothing. The gaping hole in his chest. The blood pouring all over his hands . . ._

_"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor!" His voice cracked and his hands fell from the fallen man's chest, resting on the cold dirt ground._

_"I know, Bones."_

_"I'm supposed to save people!"_

_"I know."_

_"No you _don't!_" He covered his eyes with his hand and rubbed his temples with his finger tips, ignoring the stickiness of the blood running down his face from his hands. "I'm failing at my job."_

_"You're not failing."_

_There was a short pause with nothing to break the silence but distant gunshots. "Thirteen."_

_"What?"_

_"This man makes thirteen that have died while I was here. Thirteen more deaths than should have happened while I was on hand."_

_"You can't save everyone."_

_"Why not?!" He stood, ignoring the weak shakiness in his knees. "This whole war is stupid! Thousands, maybe millions of people are dying and for what? Simple, basic rights! Because we have them and the Calgineans want to take them away!"_

_"Every human and alien on the side of Star-Fleet understands that, Bones. But we can't do anything about it besides fight and win."_

_McCoy clenched his fists, feeling the wetness of the blood. Was it his imagination or was there more blood on his arms?_

_"Thirteen isn't a lot compared to how many you've saved anyway."_

_"It's still thirteen. It's still thirteen families that will be grieving because of my incompetence."_

_"No; not your incompetence. You did the best you could."_

_"Which wasn't good enough!" His shirt was starting to feel wet from blood. Yes, there was definitely more of it._

_"None of us can be miracle workers."_

_"And why the hell not?"_

_Silence._

_Bones looked up at Jim, expecting an answer, expecting _something, _but froze when he saw Jim lying motionless on the ground. "God no . . ."_

_He fell down to his knees and crawled over to his friend, rivers of blood trailing him. He didn't see a wound. He didn't see anything wrong with him. What was going on? Why didn't he notice? Why didn't he _know?

_The doctor felt for a pulse, both with the wrist and the artery in the neck._

_Nothing._

_"This can't happen," he mumbled, fear clutching at his heart. "This can't be real, it can't . . ."_

_That's when Jim's body sunk below a sea of blood._

_Bones was dripping with red. It was coming out of every pore in his body. He couldn't control it. It was rising faster and faster. This couldn't be possible. He was on the battlefield on the Xandrif planet in the western hemisphere of the galaxy. How could he possibly . . ._

_"It must be a dream," he murmured incredulously. Not a dream; a nightmare. That's the only explanation. But he remembered his nightmares. They always had someone he couldn't save come and—_

_A hand reached up from the blood and latched onto Bones' neck. The doctor gave a surprised cry as he stumbled back. A body drew up, connected to the hand. Bones felt his heart sink deeper than he'd ever felt it before._

_It was Jim._

_But it wasn't just _Jim. _It was dead Jim. Corpse Jim. Decaying Jim._

_"This can't—no, it—why—?"_

_Before Bones could say anything else, Jim's grip tightened and he couldn't get a breath._

It's just a dream, _he told himself, but he couldn't get a breath. Why couldn't he get a breath?_

_Jim Kirk shoved McCoy to the ground, plunging his head under the sea of blood. The doctor struggled to get out of the zombie's grip. This couldn't be happening. He should be able to get a breath. This was just a dream, right? _Right?

You can't die in dreams, _McCoy told himself, fingernails digging into the flesh of the dead Jim's hand. _You can't die in your dreams. It doesn't happen. It can't . . . Just can't . . . happen . . .

_That's when everything went black and Bones still didn't take a breath._

()()()

"Fascinating," the first scientist muttered as they watched Bones struggle on the table. "Not breathing. Must be strangulation in the dream."

"He had often filed reports on his dreams," the second commented, sifting through files. "He always described a fallen comrade taking their revenge on him by trying to kill him. One of them must be 'strangling' him."

"It seems out chemical that we put into him is enhancing the reality of the effects. His body isn't allowing him to take a breath."

"Fascinating indeed."

Bones jerked on the table, choking sounds being emitted from his mouth and heart rate slowing dramatically on the monitor. All of a sudden his body went still and his chest still didn't rise.

"Passed out in sleep," the second mumbled absently, writing down some notes. "Strange and seemingly impossible."

The first walked over and injected a small vial's worth of red liquid into the doctor's blood stream. In moments he began to breathe again. "I think a few more tests of the chemical are needed to see if the effects could be replicated. After all, if we could manage to combine it with the sedative we could torture prisoners of war without actually hurting them."

"Of course we'd have to test it on someone who does not suffer from nightmares to see if the chemical does not simply enhance the brain's own delusions."

"Yes of course . . . and according to Calginean Regulation we cannot take specimens into Experimentals unless they do something against regulation . . ."

The first stared at Bones with a perplexed look and the second picked up one file in particular. The second flipped through it and a slow smile spread across his face. He looked up at his comrade. "Make sure to have security keep a close eye on Mr. Spock and James T. Kirk. Any rule breaking involving homosexual relationships is to result in immediate punishment . . . By Experimental studies."

* * *

**I felt like the mention of Bones' nightmares in the first chapter or two was just a filler detail so I decided to expand on it using this chapter. I think the nightmare turned out nicely. For me, not Bones. Poor McCoy. Anyhow, please review with your opinion! Thanks.**


	5. Chapter 5

"Have you seen Bones?" Kirk asked absently as he looked through some reports on his PADD. He was double checking that everyone filled out their report on their last mission correctly.

"Not since the Miagara mission, sir," Uhura informed as she messed with her ear piece. It had been fuzzy the past couple days.

"Spock?"

"My encounters with Doctor McCoy have not occurred as of late, Captain. My interaction with the doctor lines up with Lieutenant Uhura's report."

"You can't just say 'same as Uhura', can you?" Jim grumbled mostly to himself rather than anyone else as he set the PADD down on the table. "I'm going to the Medical Bay to see him. Keep an eye on the ship, Spock."

"Affirmative, Captain."

Jim exited the Bridge and walked down the corridors, ignoring the protests of Kelfski from the Bridge. Within moments the Calginean was following him.

"You should stay at your post, Mr. Kirk," the triclops warned.

Jim turned so he was facing Kelfski, though he didn't look very menacing compared to the eight-foot man in front of him. "That's Captain Kirk to you."

"Of course. How could I forget?" He gave Jim a hard stare. It suddenly occurred to Jim that while the two eyes placed in the normal areas on the Calginean's skull blinked, the third, in the middle, did not. That little fact sent shivers down his spine.

"I'm just going to check on my Chief Medical Officer. Go back to your post."

"I would advise—"

"Well you aren't my first officer, so I don't require your advice. Go back to the Bridge, Kelfski, that's an order. And don't go telling me something like you don't need to follow my orders because your superiors back home told you that you didn't have to. You're here in space alone on my ship. You _will _follow my orders."

The Calginean gave him another icy glare before turning around and reporting back to the Bridge. Giving a satisfied sigh, Jim turned back and continued down the Medical Bay. Upon arrival there were a few nurses filling out medical reports and checking on equipment, but no sick or injured officers were in the bay.

Neither was Bones.

"Where is Doctor McCoy?" Kirk asked the nearest nurse. She gave a tiny shrug.

"We haven't seen him since the Calginean scientists had asked him to do some tests on the Miagara woman."

Jim felt his heart sink. He knew that Bones would never agree to do such things. "Where were they going to keep the Miagara again?"

"In a storage area near Engineering."

"Thank you."

The captain left the bay and immediately headed towards Engineering. He knew that that was also the only deck where there wouldn't be any Calgineans. They were too large to fit into the tiny spaces and their hands were too clumsy to handle the delicate tools needed to fix mechanics.

"Captain!" Scotty called as he entered the deck. The Scotsman followed his captain as they walked down the halls. "We need to bring the ship in for a tune up soon. Shore leave would be best. I think everyone could use a rest anyway. Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, Scotty, just a little preoccupied."

"With what?"

"I'm looking for Bones." He turned down the hall and Scotty had to spin on his heel to keep up with him.

"Doctor McCoy ain't down here, Captain!"

"I know. He's in the storage area just outside of Engineering."

"What? Isn't that the Calgineans' private laboratory?"

"I don't know. I guess so. I haven't been down here since . . . Well, since the Khan incident."

"Aye, that's right . . . We're keeping everyone away from the radiation chamber just in case . . ."

"It had been my own choice, Scotty. None of it was Engineering's fault and I doubt anyone would go in there without a suit anyway." He went through a door and now was walking down a long narrow hallway. It was so narrow that Scotty couldn't walk beside Kirk anymore.

"Anyway, Captain, why would Doctor McCoy be with the scientists down here?"

"I don't know, but he's not in the Medical Bay and they had asked him to help them." Jim approached the final door, which required a pass code to get in. Well, that was new.

The Captain knocked on the door rhythmically.

"I don't know if that's the best idea," Scotty murmured, slinking back a foot or two.

"I'm the captain. What are they going to do? Fire me?" He knocked again, louder. "Hey, this is the captain! Open up!"

"We're sorry Captain." The voice was crackly and fuzzy, since it was coming through a cheap speaker that had been installed shortly before taking off that distant time ago when their journey had started. "This is a private laboratory."

"Yeah, I know. I just need to know if Doctor Leonard McCoy is in there."

"He is, sir."

"I need to speak to him. Either let me in or let him out."

"We cannot do that, sir. Doctor McCoy is busy right now."

"With what?"

"Tests, sir."

"Tell him I have something more important than tests which I need to discuss with him."

"He cannot speak with you at this moment. We will contact you when he can."

"And why not?"

There was no response.

"I said _why not?_"

Still, no response came. Scotty gave a sigh. "Come on, Captain. They're not going to give up. Doctor McCoy probably really is busy."

"I know Bones," Jim muttered, glaring at the door as if looks alone could melt down the metal. "He wouldn't want to participate in any tests that have to do with the Calgineans."

"There's nothing we can do. Maybe you should try again later, when he won't be so busy."

The captain chewed on his lip. He desperately wanted to see Bones. Just to talk to him. To tell him about how he was going out of his mind on this ship, how he needed a break, how _everyone _needed a break, how he needed to be with Spock, and he desperately wanted to tell Bones about the dreams that have plagued his nights.

"Yeah. I'll try again later."

()()()

Jim was furious.

Earlier in the day he had contacted head of the Calginean organization in charge of Star-Fleet to request a shore leave, but he had been shot down. "The crew of the Enterprise was to complete their current mission of collecting samples before returning to Earth." Those were the Calginean's exact words and nothing had angered Jim more before. The ship needed a tune-up; Scotty had said so. Not only that, they also needed a break. All of them. Everyone was depressed and tired and just needed a nice long rest.

He stormed down the halls back towards the Calginean Lab. It was late, definitely. He should've been on the Bridge. But he couldn't stand waiting any longer. He didn't care that they were supposed to contact him when Bones could talk to him; he needed to talk to Bones _now._

The captain had inquired his first officer about the pass code and Spock had answered that he was unaware of what the pass code was. That was just damn fantastic.

He reached the door to the lab and banged his fist against the door, ignoring the pain shooting through his fingers. "Open up!"

"Captain, you should be on the Bridge," the same voice from before answered.

"Like hell I should! I need to talk to my Chief Medical Officer."

"He is unavailable—"

"I don't care; make him available! I need to speak to him. It's of dire importance."

"I'm sure there are some nurses that can take care of whatever incident has occurred on board."

"Oh, screw this." Jim cracked his knuckles and braced himself. His fist smashed into the keypad for inputting the pass code and it shattered, splintering and ripping into his hand's flesh, tearing up the knuckles. He shouted a string of cusses as he shook his hand. But before the voice on the other end of the speaker could protest further, the door opened as a safety precaution to the keypad being broken.

Jim's eyes widened wide as saucers when he saw Bones strapped to a table, tubes with different colored liquids being fed into his arms.

"Bones!" His voice was louder than he could remember and it might've cracked. He didn't really care. Instead he ran forward, trying to get to his friend, but was picked up by someone from behind before he was even close. "Put me down!"

"That is quite enough," one of the scientists growled. "You are getting out of hand, James T. Kirk. This is our last warning to you. If you attempt such an act again we will have to give you proper punishment, captain or not."

Jim ignored their threats, focusing on McCoy. "Bones!" He struggled against the man restraining him. "Let me down! Let Bones _go!_"

Another scientist, who was studying Bones, looked up. "The tests are nearly complete, captain. He shall be released in a couple days."

"No, NOW!"

"Get him out!" the first scientist shouted. Jim was forced out of the lab, even being thrown over his captor's shoulders as he was dragged back to the Bridge like a sack of potatoes.

When the Calginean had gotten to the Bridge, he dumped Jim onto the floor. The captain glared up at the Calginean, who he found was actually Kelfski. Kelfski grinned at him. "Stay in line, Kirk." With that he left the Bridge.

Jim got to his feet, feeling as his crew's eyes bore into his back. "Dammit!" he shouted, kicking the nearest wall.

"Captain, what happened?" Spock asked cautiously.

Jim took a deep breath and held it as he turned. The Bridge crew was staring at him worriedly. He felt his teeth grind against each other.

"Jim?" Uhura murmured.

He released his breath and sat in his chair, staring at the screen and nothing else. "I discovered what exactly the Calginean's 'tests' are and that we cannot take a shore leave."

As he had expected, everyone seemed more worried about the tests rather than the lack of a shore leave.

"What kind of tests?" Chekov asked in his thick accent.

The captain licked his lips and closed his eyes. "Human experiments."

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**Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	6. Chapter 6

McCoy was back in the Medical Bay in less than two days. As soon as Jim had gotten word of his return he had practically run to the Medical Bay just to greet him. The doctor had refused to talk about what the Calgineans had done to him.

"Bones, they were _experimenting _with you! You have to tell me what they did!"

"Why?" The doctor glared at his friend. "This isn't like some perverted sexual abuse that you can report to Star-Fleet, Jim. This was punishment because I wouldn't cooperate and you know as well as I do that the Calgineans now running Star-Fleet aren't going to care less!" He gave an exhausted sigh and leaned against the table. "I'm tired, Jim. If you needed me for anything other than trying to rip what they did out of me, then please get on with it."

Jim gave a helpless look to his friend but Bones didn't look at him. The captain finally gave up trying to coax the truth out of his doctor and took a seat on one of the medical beds. "Yes, there was something else."

"Yes?"

"The nightmares have gotten worse."

Bones' ears perked up at that and he turned to look hard at Jim. "How so?"

"They started out where I couldn't even remember them. I'd wake up crying or scared out of my wits and I wouldn't know why. After a while I started recalling them when I woke up . . . They were just memories of the battlefield that just replayed over and over again. After the Miagara trip I kept dreaming about her screams. Now . . ."

"Yes?"

"Now they're starting to scare me. Badly." Jim tried to keep the quiver out of his voice as he remembered the dream he had had the night previous.

Bones sat down on the next bed over, concern filling his eyes. "Give me an example."

"Well . . . Last night the dream started in the Bridge. It was late at night so it was just me and Spock. We were playing some chess. He was beating me like always." A tiny snicker came from his lips but it was short lived and replaced by the same anxiety that had been plaguing him every night. "Anyway . . . Suddenly Nero appeared on the screen."

"Nero? That was years ago."

"I know, I know . . . That's what surprised me. Especially since I thought he was dead. He started rambling about his revenge on Spock and how he would make all of us suffer for getting in his way . . . The ship started shaking and Spock, he just—just dropped. He was dead instantly, Bones. I couldn't do anything. I tried to send an announcement out to the rest of the ship but communications were failing.

"I ran through the halls to try and find someone like you or Sulu or Scotty . . . I just kept seeing death everywhere. I could feel it. There were chills, and trails of blood, and gore everywhere . . ." Jim swallowed hard, shakiness starting to enter his words. "I got to the Medical Bay and I saw you. You were . . . were alive, but you were strapped to a table. The scientists—they were hurting you. Experimenting with you." He buried his face in his hands, gripping his hair. "God, Bones, I saw them _dissect _you! I couldn't stop them and you just kept screaming and there was so much blood . . ."

McCoy's face was a mix of shock and horror as his friend described his dream. He had had horrible dreams during the experiments but he couldn't imagine having to watch something like that. The Calgineans had explained all about their experiments to him when it was all over and had warned him not to tell anyone about them, but if they heard of the extent of Jim's nightmares . . .

The doctor clamped his hands onto his captain's shoulders. "Listen to me. You are to tell no one else about these dreams."

"W—What?" Jim looked up, his eyes a little moist.

"Don't file reports about dreams for psychological analysis, don't tell anyone about these dreams, and don't let the Calgineans suspect that you're having nightmares."

"What's gotten into you?"

"The experiments they were conducting on me were to enhance my dreams and make them like reality. I experienced my nightmares, Jim."

"I don't understand . . ."

"Say someone was killing me in my dream. Some drug they pumped into me would enhance the effects. I could feel the pain. I could _feel _myself dying. And it makes you able to die in your dreams."

"Why would they—"

"It's a bio-weapon, Jim. They're making a bio-weapon."

The captain's gaze dropped to the ground. "I can't believe this . . ."

"So tell no one about these nightmares. I don't want them experimenting on you as well, especially with all the . . . the horror that you've had to watch at night."

"Okay. Okay, I won't tell."

Bones gave a nod and slowly released Jim's shoulders. "I have work to do. Go back to the Bridge, Jim."

The captain nodded, rising to his feet. "Thanks, Bones."

McCoy only offered a thin, fake smile as Jim exited the bay. Then he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

()()()

"We need a shore leave!" Jim shouted at the screen which had the head of Star-Fleet staring at him, annoyed.

"You are not scheduled to be back for another month, Mr. Kirk."

"You don't understand. I was informed by Engineering that the ship is in need of a tune up. Even for just a couple days of shore leave—"

"The answer is no, Mr. Kirk."

Jim ran his tongue over his teeth, agitation beginning to boil inside of him. "Can't you make an exception? Just let us get our ship fixed before we get stranded!"

"The ship will not be stranded in space."

"You don't know that for sure! Look, our Head of Engineering Mr. Scott is one of the best out there. If he says that we are in need of a shore leave in order to fix our ship!"

The Calginean on the screen was looking extremely frustrated by now and he sighed, rubbing his head. "Fine. But you are much closer to Lambaria than Earth, so you shall go there for your tune up."

Jim felt his heart skip a beat. Lambaria. He knew what that planet was. "You mean . . . we're going to be staying at the Calginean home planet for our shore leave . . .?"

"Unless you'd rather not get the opportunity to get your ship fixed until after your mission is complete."

The captain looked over to Scotty, who had come onto the Bridge in case he needed to argue a case about the ship's problems to the Calgineans. "Well?"

The Scotsman licked his lips nervously. "Uh . . . The ship—it needs repairs, Captain. It would seem that going to Lambaria would be the best option."

Jim's gaze shifted to Spock, who was watching the argument from his station. Jim was deathly worried about what the Calgineans would do if a 'weptor' child came onto their home soil. His first officer gave a short nod in agreement.

"All right," Jim finally said, turning back to the screen. "But I would like to have my first officer's safety be guaranteed. I don't know what your ki—the Calgineans would do if they saw . . ." Jim swallowed down his rage and prayed that Spock wouldn't think ill of him. "If they saw a weptor child on their home ground."

Out of the corners of his eyes Jim saw most of the Bridge crew looking at him with alarm or looking appalled. Uhura especially seemed enraged that he would use a term such as that. Spock however, didn't slow the slightest emotion—not that Jim had really expected the Vulcan to do as such, but perhaps show something.

The head of Star-Fleet smiled, pleased. "Of course. I will send word to my brothers about your arrival and that they are to not disturb the weptor child unless he arouses a conflict."

"I assure you that will not happen."

"It had better not, for your sake." The communication was terminated and Jim was left standing in the silent Bridge.

"How could you say that?" Uhura finally shouted. Jim lowered his head at her tone. "How could you possibly call Spock a—a . . .!"

"You misunderstand Captain Kirk's intentions, Lieutenant," Spock interjected, slowly standing. "He was trying to appeal to the Calginean's choice of words and, in turn, his favor. If he has to call me a weptor child then so be it."

Jim took in a deep breath through his nose. "You know I don't believe you're such a thing."

"I am aware of what you believe in, Captain."

The two of them held their gaze for a moment longer before a deep voice cleared its throat. They turned to find Kelfski standing in the doorway. "So where are we going, Captain?"

"Lambaria, Keflski. You're going home."

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